Meowgan Stanley
Meowgan Stanley standing in a dark panelled bank interior in a chalk-stripe suit

Est. nine lives ago · Solana

Meowgan
Stanley

Nine lives under management.
Eight already deployed.

Buy $MEOWGN View the chart Swap on Jupiter Follow on X

Contract D8thZLXaSCpYi4uCT9Sb38JThgxF8kPXjZKXraoGpump

The oldest private bank for cats. Discreet, expensive, asleep by four.

The empty marble banking hall, with Meowgan Stanley a small figure at its centre
Meowgan at a walnut desk at night, lit by the blur of trading screens

The desk

He has sat at this desk through four thousand meetings and one good idea.

The screens are always on. Nobody has ever asked him what is on them, because asking would suggest the answer might change something, and it never has.

Meowgan asleep on the desk among scattered papers, tie loosened

Four o'clock

The firm does not depend on him being awake.

That is not a weakness in the model. That is the model. The desk keeps working, the paper keeps moving, and the tie stays loosened until Monday.

The book

Assets under management

A long boardroom table with Meowgan at the head and four cats along the sides
The committee. Quorum is whoever is awake.
Meowgan looking up at a framed canvas showing a single steeply falling red line
He has seen this painting before.
Meowgan walking down a green lacquered corridor carrying a small leather briefcase
The briefcase has never been opened.
Close macro of a silver-grey paw resting on a brass fountain pen over blank paper
He signs. He does not read.
Meowgan seen from behind at a tall arched window over a city at dusk
Close of business.
A colossal brass bank vault door with a small cat flap cut into the bottom

The vault

Impenetrable, except at the bottom.

Every auditor has raised it. Every auditor has been thanked for raising it.

The long version

Longer than anyone will say

Meowgan Stanley has been in the business longer than anyone will say out loud. He wears the suit. He signs the paper. He attends the meeting.

Nine in, eight out

Nine lives came in. Eight went out across a career nobody has fully audited. The arithmetic is not disputed. It is simply not discussed.

The ninth

The last one sits in the vault behind a brass door with a cat flap in it, which is either a serious security flaw or the entire point of the firm.

How to buy

  1. 01

    Get a wallet

    Phantom or Solflare. Fund it with SOL. This part is not the joke.

  2. 02

    Open the pair

    Use the buy button above once the contract is published here.

  3. 03

    Swap

    Confirm in your wallet. Then loosen your tie and sleep on the desk.

Contract D8thZLXaSCpYi4uCT9Sb38JThgxF8kPXjZKXraoGpump